This is not the next post on the agenda, and it isn't going to be very long. It's happening right now, so I wanted to post before I run upstairs and spy on her.
The Gummer just came home from an evening of fine dining. She is a wrath monkey. And I quote:
"I am never going to Bob Evans again. A senior pancake and bacon costs $4.99. They upgraded it to the waffle for $2.59 or $2.89. That's bullshit."
I read the quote back to her. She would like me to not say that she said "bullshit" on the Internet. Sorry, Gummycakes-- that's the nature of quotations. That's what you said, Bunny Bread.
The Gummer has the Bob Evans Consumer Relations number and is going to call and tell them that she will NEVER go to Bob Evans again.
I briefly worked at gas station in college. I was in the cooler with the manager, and he.... remarked postively on the aesthetics of my posterior. He looked like the Dunkin' Donuts guy in a really felonious way. I was very young and very just-trying-to-stock-the-Shasta. (That sounds like a euphemism. Yeah, maybe he was just trying to stock the Shasta, too.) Anyway, so The Gummer told me not to go in the cooler with The Dunkin' Douchebag. Shortly after that, I was fired. Everyone was fired (except Dunkin'), because there was a cigarette stealing ring. ("Huh?" you may ask. Well, apparently people were going around stealing cartons of cigarettes in an organized manner which was indicative of a concurrently-running Jolt Cola ring.) When I told The Gummer that I had been fired, she demanded that I call Exxon
yes, EXXON
(Just call 'em up: "Hello. I would like to speak to Ex, please.")
and tell them that my parents were never, ever, EVER again, going to purchase gasoline from an Exxon station. It was very sweet. I did not call.
Start filing those bankruptcy papers, Bob Evans. She's angry. She's gone Gummercore.
(I just went upstairs to check on the progress of The Great Gummercott of 2011. She said. "It's nighttime. No one is there." Good eye, Batter Batter! "Well, tell me before you call. I want to film it.")
The Gummer just came home from an evening of fine dining. She is a wrath monkey. And I quote:
"I am never going to Bob Evans again. A senior pancake and bacon costs $4.99. They upgraded it to the waffle for $2.59 or $2.89. That's bullshit."
I read the quote back to her. She would like me to not say that she said "bullshit" on the Internet. Sorry, Gummycakes-- that's the nature of quotations. That's what you said, Bunny Bread.
The Gummer has the Bob Evans Consumer Relations number and is going to call and tell them that she will NEVER go to Bob Evans again.
I briefly worked at gas station in college. I was in the cooler with the manager, and he.... remarked postively on the aesthetics of my posterior. He looked like the Dunkin' Donuts guy in a really felonious way. I was very young and very just-trying-to-stock-the-Shasta. (That sounds like a euphemism. Yeah, maybe he was just trying to stock the Shasta, too.) Anyway, so The Gummer told me not to go in the cooler with The Dunkin' Douchebag. Shortly after that, I was fired. Everyone was fired (except Dunkin'), because there was a cigarette stealing ring. ("Huh?" you may ask. Well, apparently people were going around stealing cartons of cigarettes in an organized manner which was indicative of a concurrently-running Jolt Cola ring.) When I told The Gummer that I had been fired, she demanded that I call Exxon
yes, EXXON
(Just call 'em up: "Hello. I would like to speak to Ex, please.")
and tell them that my parents were never, ever, EVER again, going to purchase gasoline from an Exxon station. It was very sweet. I did not call.
Start filing those bankruptcy papers, Bob Evans. She's angry. She's gone Gummercore.
(I just went upstairs to check on the progress of The Great Gummercott of 2011. She said. "It's nighttime. No one is there." Good eye, Batter Batter! "Well, tell me before you call. I want to film it.")
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